I know now that Kierkegaard was a fool, and so am I.
Do you want to know why I loved Her, dear reader? She wore a mite around her neck.
41And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.Her god was a God of Compassion & Direct Action. If I could, I would have dropped everything and followed her anywhere. I would have written sonnets, poems, epics, anything in order to make her god the God of Man. But that opportunity would never come, and I wasted the last moments I could have had with her from a resignation of inadequacy, rather than Kierkegaard's moralism.
42And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.
43And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
44For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
I should've been with her that night, but I didn't go. I should have, and I understand that now harder than I would have ever wanted to admit. I should have seen in myself what she saw, understood what she knew about me in the same way I knew her, though we'd only met twice.
I hope she's happy wherever she is, but most of all I hope that I can see her again.